Loneliness affects so many people in our society. Loneliness is subjectively defined as how we are emotionally or socially disconnected from other people. Think of the last time you were in a mist of people and still felt isolated. With the advent of cell phones, we can easily open our phone book and call a friend or relative. Yet still, we suffer loneliness. This shows that loneliness is not about the number of friends around us but how we are connected to them.
There are so many causes of loneliness. It could be living in isolation in crowded cities, a changing environment, inhuman work methods, Cold communication, Loss of a loved one, divorce, separation, unwanted singleness, old age, and youthful inexperience.
Human beings are hard-wired to connect. However, when people are close to their institution, they go home alone. Many people may be around you, yet you still experience deep, pervasive loneliness. Unsurprisingly, isolation can have a seriously detrimental effect on one’s mental and physical health.
Loneliness has become a social evil that has contributed to alcoholism, overeating, drug abuse, promiscuous sexual behavior, and even suicide. These are physical health that can be identified and treated. But what about the psychological wound that loneliness inflicts on us?
When You Feel
- People around care less about you
- Afraid to reach out because you think people will reject you
- Socially or emotionally disconnected
Here are some habits to consider:
- Make a habit of nurturing others.
Offer to take care of the neighbor’s children once a week, teach a class, volunteer, and get a dog. Giving support to others helps create a feeling of connection. For Happiness generally, it’s just as essential to provide support as to get support.
- Make a habit of connecting with others (to state the obvious).
Choose a selected program to attend. You can choose to do that weekly. Attending such programs can be very brief. For example, join a book group, sign up for an exercise session, and take a minute each morning to chat with a co-worker.
- Make a habit of getting better sleep.
One of the most common indicators of loneliness is broken sleep — taking a long time to fall asleep, waking frequently, and feeling sleepy during the day. Sleep deprivation, under any circumstances, brings down people’s moods, makes them more likely to get sick, and dampens their energy, so it’s essential to tackle this issue.
- Make a habit of staying open.
Unfortunately–and this may seem counter-intuitive- loneliness can make people feel more negative, critical, and judgmental. Lonely people, it turns out, are far less accepting of potential new friends than people who aren’t lonely. If you recognize that your loneliness may be affecting you in that way, you can take steps to counter it.
- Making a habit of asking yourself, “What’s missing in my life?”
If you’re feeling lonely, is it because you miss having a best friend, or you miss being part of a group, or you miss having a place to go where everyone is familiar, or you miss having a romantic partner, or you miss having the quiet presence of someone else hanging around the house with you? There are many kinds of loneliness. It may be painful to think about, but once you understand what you’re missing, it’s easier to see how to address it through habits or otherwise.
When to consult a Mental Health Professional
Consult a mental health professional if
- Your emotional pain is so great that you have thoughts of harming yourself or others.
- You find yourself thinking about what it would be like if you were no longer around.
- You feel too hopeless or discouraged to apply the first aid treatment above or if you have tried but were unsuccessful.
Writer: Dr. Etepe Dugah